Some years ago I was watching a press conference with John Edwards and his wife, Elizabeth, on the University of North Carolina campus. Something to do with the breast cancer that eventually killed her I believe. At one point, someone said something and the two of them glanced at each other with such a look of love. It was so beautiful I almost cried. That’s it! I thought. That’s the sort of love I want!

That was, of course, before Edwards broke my heart and possibly Elizabeth’s by having and then going to great extremes to try and cover up a tawdry affair (is there any other kind of affair?) with Rielle Hunter, a filmmaker who had been hired to work for his campaign for president during the 2008 election.

Edwards, a wealthy lawyer, was elected to the US Senate from NC in 1998. He ran unsuccessfully for president in 2004 and 2008 and was John Kerry’s running mate in 2004. In 2011, he was indicted for but was not convicted of violating campaign contribution laws for using funds to try to arrange a complicated payoff for Hunter, who had a baby as a result of the affair. (These people are adults, have they not heard of birth control?) Elizabeth died of cancer in 2010.

I don’t know if Edwards learned his lesson, but I learned mine. So about a week ago when news first surfaced that NC Senate candidate Cal Cunningham had a relationship with a campaign advisor from California — reports at first were that the two had only sent each other sexually suggestive text messages, but by the end of the week the woman claimed they had been intimate on at least one occasion, which I assume actually happened since Cunningham didn’t deny it — my heart was not broken. I was just disappointed. Very, very disappointed. It reminded me of my parents’ response when I did something as a child of which they didn’t approve. “Rhonda, you’ve let us down.” “Rhonda, we are very disappointed in you.” Arrgh! Just spank me and get it over with!

I know there are men who are faithful to their wives. My father told me once that one of the greatest insults he’d ever heard was to excuse a husband’s infidelity by saying, “Everyone does it.” But I’ve learned that what goes on in a marriage is between the two people involved. Clearly, I don’t understand how to be successful at marriage, since I was wildly unsuccessful in my one attempt. I have no idea how this story will end and honestly, it is none of my business. Sometimes marriages survive unfaithfulness, and sometimes they collapse under the weight of problems that seem far less consequential. Cunningham and his wife will work through this, or they won’t. Again, not my business.

What is my business is the disappointment. This election is very important. Cunningham had a good chance of helping to tip the balance in the Senate and perhaps get things moving again. He seemed an ideal candidate, all-American, veteran, family man, community activist. His opponent Thom Tillis has not been impressive in his first term as Senator, mostly known for toadying up to the President and catching COVID after attending the Superspreader reception for Supreme Court nominee Amy Coney Barrett. How could Cunningham squander all that for a moment of pleasure? This affair could literally change the course of history. How could he be so selfish?

I’m not going to ask what else could happen. We’ve already had multiple October surprises and the month is only half over. 

PS: Actually, I voted today. So please quit sending me so much election-related junk mail. It is too late to give me anything but buyer’s remorse.

PPS: However, feel free to send me better candidates.